Dear Ian,

My mother has always refused to leave her house of 47 years, but recently I have noticed that she is becoming frail and I am concerned. I have my own health issues and I think she needs more help than I am able to give her. I feel guilty, but I think we should consider alternative living?

– Feeling Guilty

Dear Feeling Guilty:

It can be difficult presenting different living options to a loved one, especially when they have lived so long in their home and are surrounded with memories. Change can be frightening and, so often, seniors have a vision of senior living being like nursing homes of days gone by. I find when you are able to bring them in for lunch and they see the vibrant environment they start reconsidering their options.

To help you both in your decision making here are a few questions you can ask yourselves:

Has your mother recently had a health issue that has caused you concern?

Has a doctor suggested that your mother should look at senior living where she can be cared for and her health care needs can be met?

Is your mother becoming forgetful, missing paying some of the bills, or putting off household chores?

Is she lonely, just waiting for family to visit and missing social interaction and stimulation with her peers?

Would living in an independent, caring environment that provides the meals, laundry, and housekeeping help relieve the stress and worry of your mother living alone?

If your answer to any of these questions is yes, talk with your mother and visit a few residences to help quell her fears. Once she visits, she will see there are new friends and a wonderful life waiting for her in senior living.